Cats Share Their Top New Year's Resolutions

Cat Waking Up Humans
Really, what human doesn't want to wake up to this face at 4 a.m.?

Cats, as all feline-loving folk can attest, are perfectionists. Sure, 2014 was good. But 2015 can be even better — perfect, even!

Here are some of the top resolutions we are sure our own cats are making.

1. I vow to stop sleeping in.

I used to be so great at getting up at all hours of the night and waking my family to play. But I’ve gotten lazy, waiting until sunrise to get moving. I am ashamed of myself. I will start the New Year by sticking my face in theirs and scaring them awake. I know they love that.

2. I will spend more time on the computer.

Literally, I will spend more time sitting on top of the computer keyboard.

3. I'm going to show more affection, even when my humans don't seem to want it.

I will especially pay more attention to them when they are wearing black clothes. They look so much better with my cat fur all over them.

4. I will work to increase my vocal range.

Sure, I've got my "Mrow!" for food down pat, and I've developed a pretty good middle-of-the-night yowl that my people really seem to respond to, but I know I've got more in there. Maybe a post-potty alert will be a good place to start.

5. I won't rest until I make the dog my slave.

I already have her asking permission to come into rooms when I guard the door, and when the humans aren't paying attention. But if I could just get her to consistently follow my commands, the possibilities are endless. The first trick I'll teach her is to open the magical, cold box where my special kitty food is kept.

Catching Laser Pointer Dot
2015 is the year I will finally capture the red dot.

6. I will triumph over the red dot.

Every time I see that laser pointer dot, I'm sure I will catch it, but then it manages to escape. That ends now. I will hone my craft and call on my lineage of great hunters to show that dot who's boss.

7. I'll try to be more tolerant of others.

I realize that not everyone can be as perfect and immaculate as I am, so this year, I resolve to be slightly more friendly to guests instead of immediately rejecting them and scurrying away. Though I admit this may not be possible.

What would your cat's New Year's resolution be? Let us know in the comments below.

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