Are you a cat owner? Are you sure about that? Who caters to her resident feline’s every need? Who dotes upon her demanding little dictator? Who can be put in her place with just one look of disdain from the kitty in the corner?
If any of the following scenarios sound familiar, the "owner" status in your home may have shifted without your even realizing it.
1. The Cat Eats What the Cat Wants to Eat
Be honest: How many different types of cat food have you presented to your feline friend, only to have him turn up his tiny little nose at it? Humans who are owned by cats know that once you have figured out the magical formula of food, you stick with it. That may be one flavor on odd days of the week and another flavor on even, heated for eight seconds in the microwave and served on special china, but, hey, he’s eating with gusto, right?
2. You Don’t Move the Cat — Ever
You can be certain you’re an owned human if you regularly work around your cat, wherever that happens to be. This includes waiting until later to fold laundry if he’s snoozing in the basket, stepping over him while preparing lunch if he’s lying on the kitchen floor, forgoing the vacuum cleaner if he’s anywhere nearby or selecting another chair if your regular seat is already occupied.
3. You Just Keep Buying Cat Toys
How many little mice, balls, and crunchy, bouncy or squeaky cat toys have you purchased over the years? Your cat plays with them for only a minute before he grows bored, yet you still keep bringing home toys for that one fleeting moment of joy. You know this, but you don’t care. It’s worth it to keep your cat content.
4. There’s a Cupboard Full of Cat Stuff
Every cat-owned human has one: a cupboard, cabinet or drawer full of cat items. What do cats need, exactly? Well, because felines can be finicky about pretty much everything, you never know what treat, toy or grooming tool your cat might be into on any given day. So you must stock myriad things to suit his mood.
5. Your Phone Is Full of Cat Photos
Quick, pull out your phone and count how many cat pictures you have versus how many pictures you have of human family members. How far do you have to scroll through photos filled with fur to get to your smiling kids or spouse? Enough said.
6. You Maintain Multiple Water Sources
Why should your cat have to walk all the way downstairs to get a drink of water? If a cat owns you, this is a reasonable question. Do you have water dishes, fountains or cups of water in multiple rooms in the house? If your cat sticks his nose in your water glass, do you shoo him away or do you let him drink to his heart’s content and then go get yourself another glass? If you answered the latter, your cat probably owns you.
Sure, you might try to tell yourself you’re in charge but, really, when it comes right down to it, are you? Despite your best efforts to the contrary, it’s probably a good idea for you to resign yourself to being a kept human. It’s a battle you’ll never win.
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